The People, The President, and the Condominium

Verily I say unto you, in a place not far from here, the people lived in a condominium that rested on the shore of a lake. The people walked on soft carpets, sat in overstuffed chairs, slept in king-sized beds and dined in their sparkling new kitchens with convection ovens, dishwashers and side by side refrigerators. At night, as was their custom, they would snuggle up like mice in a nest, and watch PBS or Law and Order or the Disney Channel or football or a DVD from their own private collection. The people were happy and content.

Verdant hills surrounded the building in the summer; pop-up sprinklers hissed like miniature fountains to keep the grass soft and green. The people, eager if ageing, launched their kayaks from the clean, white, Lake Michigan sand. The people even planted a flower garden on the side of a hill so they could look down from their windows and enjoy the blues and yellows and reds and greens as they sipped their wine on cloudless summer days. Yes, the people rested and were happy and content.

But then one day as the people were watching the Today Show and drinking coffee in their sparkling kitchens, a terrible noise came up from the lobby of their building. The people raced into the hallways. They were astounded to find that three men, faces hidden behind black masks, had smashed the front door and were standing in the lobby brandishing aluminum baseball bats. "Stay where you are," they commanded, raising the bats menacingly. The men disappeared down the stairs to the underground garage where the people parked their expensive cars. The sound of shattering glass filled the air. The people were terrified and unable to move. Suddenly the men appeared again, carrying bags on their shoulders. They jumped through the smashed door and vanished into the morning light.

That night the President of the Condo Association, who was a very religious man, called a meeting of the people. He said he was greatly alarmed by what had happened but that "We will not surrender to evil." Then he added "Do not be afraid, for you have found favor with God. We have been delivered from the hands of our enemies." He then explained that he had already hired security guards for every door and that a closed circuit television surveillance system would be installed the next day to watch everybody both outside and in. And then the President said an amazing thing. "I will lower your fees." The people breathed a sigh of relief because they were worried about how much this would cost. Heartened, they scurried back to their condos, closed their doors and watched PBS or Law and Order or the Disney channel or football or their own DVD.

Winter came and went. The spring flowers blossomed; the summer garden flourished. The people prospered too. Basking in their good fortune, they grilled steaks, played tennis and paddled their kayaks up and down the lake.

But then in the fall, just as the leaves were starting to change, another terrible thing happened. One day, out of nowhere, a wind started to blow. It blew the deck furniture over, it tipped over the kayaks, and then, doubling in intensity, it blew the roof off the condo. Torrents of rain poured into the units on the top floor and ruined the carpets, the furniture and even the sparkling new kitchens.

That night the President called the people to a meeting. Sacrifices would have to be made, he said. Some of the people from the top units would have to move in with the people below them. Then he added "Be not afraid, for I am here to save you from worry. I have already hired men to put a tarp over the top of the building and other workers to clean up this mess." The people looked troubled. But the President said an amazing thing in a strong and confident voice. "Be assured," he said. "I will lower your fees."

Some of the people breathed a sigh of relief. But one man, who always had opinions about everything, jumped up and demanded "But Mr. President, how are we going to pay for all of this if you keep lowering our fees?"

At this the President smiled and said "This is the great secret! I have borrowed money from the man at the bank to cover all these costs." At this he smacked lips, smirked and paused. Then he added, "And the beauty of these loans is that they won't be due for ten to twenty years. Most of you will be gone!" At this the Vice President, who always stood behind the President, smiled his crooked smile, his eyes glistening with glee.

So the people went back to their condos. But nobody watched PBS or Law and Order or the Disney channel or football or their own DVD. The people realized that it would be their children and grandchildren who would have to pay the man at the bank. They realized that no one would save them from this worry and no one else would clean up this mess. The People would have to do it themselves but they did not know what to do. They did not know even where to begin.

And so behold, it came to pass, that the people were sorely afraid.

Written by Mark Gustafson

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