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Jesus is Coming… Tomorrow

Millions of Christians think the end times are imminent this year, as they were in 2006, and 2005, and 2004, and… you get the idea.

September 3rd, 2007 · Written by · 5 Comments

Barbara Rossing thinks that’s a bunch of crap. A Lutheran minister and teacher at the Lutheran School of Theology in Chicago, Rossing penned the 2004 book, “The Rapture Exposed,” where she calls Rapture theology unbiblical and blatant pandering to American fear over globalization, Iraq, and global climate change.

“The rapture is a racket,” she told Reuters. “We (moderate Christians) were asleep at the switch for too long, and fundamentalists rushed in to speak to this vacuum. Now we’ve got to reclaim it.”

But evangelical Christians do not have a monopoly on Armageddon.

But evangelical Christians do not have a monopoly on Armageddon. In fact, there is an entire philosophic theology devoted to end of the world study called Eschatology. The Mayan calendar ends in 2012 and has all kinds of people spooked. According to the Jewish Talmudic calendar, the Earth will only last 6,000 years from the creation of Adam. By this calculation, the end of days will occur at or before 2240.

Followers of the Bahá’í Faith have their version, as do the Rastafarians, Jehovah’s Witnesses, Mormons, and Seventh-Day Adventists. Most religions do. It’s the bookend to their particular story. The details change bit, but the plot structure is essentially the same: Jesus, God, Allah, etc., comes back and fights with a Satan figure for control of the Earth, a battle the good guys — of course — eventually win.

So what? No biggie, except Rapture and Armageddon believers make up some of the most militant anti-environmentalists and biggest consumers out there. Why worry about consuming natural resources when it’s all ending soon anyway?

“Why care about global climate change when you and yours will be rescued in the Rapture?” asked esteemed journalist Bill Moyers in a 2004 speech at Harvard.

Moyers was spotlighting Rapture adherents — who make up a sizable majority of the so-called Religious Right — as a sort of sticky goo that clogs up the wheels of environmental progress in the halls of Congress. An entire voting bloc that sits home anticipating a deus ex machina.

“And why care about converting from oil to solar when the same God who performed the miracle of the loaves and fishes can whip up a few billion barrels of light crude with a word?” Moyers continued.

Given the fact that much of this gets drilled into young Christian heads at places like Vacation Bible Schools, Sunday school, and religious themed summer camps, combating Rapture theory with sensible logic seems an uphill battle. For this reason, religion from a secular academic perspective is being touted by some as a must learn for kids in public schools. But who vets the teachers? It goes on and on.

In the meantime, the next time you see a bumper sticker that reads “In Case of Rapture, this car will be Unmanned,” feel free to ask if you can have their vehicle after they’re gone.

Pages: 1 2

Tags: Nonfiction · · ·

5 Comments so far ↓

  • armingtheamish

    Don’t throw out the Baby Jesus with the
    Jenkins-LaHaye-Moyers bath water.

    Just because alot of crazy people think certain things doesn’t negate the whole truth of something.

    a lot of people thought the-world-is-round people were crazy,

    and indeed Columbus was a crazy capitalist imperialist, BUT

    He was right about the world being round.

    Your article uses a lot of fallacy to try to discredit the second coming..

    Just because some fat-white-capitalist pig dogs think that Jesus is coming tomorrow doesn’t mean that he is Not.

  • armingtheamish

    I appologize to the people i called fat-white-capitalist pig dogs, i really should have done that.

    The slogan of this magazine used to be, i don’ t know if it still is, Building a better community through creativity,

    My name calling is counter to that Building.

    Yo.

    But the point remains.

    t-dub

  • megan

    Interesting article, I want to point out that the Bible says it isn’t Christians place to even know the day or time. So this article might be a pointless argument, because when you think about it if a Christian says the Rapture will happen tomorrow they are in the wrong. The Bible says its only God who knows the day or time (as the article pointed out). So it is a unknown, and Christians really shouldn’t be going around parading a time and day when its not for sure.
    They are making an embarrassment of themselves parading around shouting Jesus comes tomorrow, and ruin their “testimony” when it does not happen.

  • Jason Glover

    Actually Luke 21:32 says that Jesus will come before “this generation” passes away. Luke 9:27 says “some of you will not taste death” before the second coming arrives.

    Funny. 2000 years later here we are still waiting.

    Can we be skeptical yet?

  • alan_beck

    Mythra was supposed to come back.. but he didn’t. all the saviours were to return.. but they didn’t. The Piso family wrote the new testament. http://www.bibliotecapleyades.net/sociopolitica/esp_sociopol_piso02b.htm .. it’s all just a story.. i wouldn’t get my hopes up.. religions are lies.. used for control of the masses. that is not a lie. peace.

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