I am a brainwashed, bleeding-heart liberal. Everything I say is naïve at best and corrosive at worst. I have made detrimental deductions about the state of affairs on this blue-green orb based on lies the liberal media and my college professors told me.

How they hate America. How they’d love to let the terrorists win. […]

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An exposé on the doublethink and hypocrisy perpetrated by the type of animal rights extremism touted by PETA. For instance: did you know that from July 1998 through December 2005 the group killed over 14,400 dogs, cats, and other “companion animals”? In 2005, 31 felony counts of animal cruelty were brought against two PETA employees for the unlawful disposal of animal carcasses in North Carolina dumpsters.

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“I am nothing,” she says, her eyes avoiding mine. In her face I see contradictory tinges of apathy and embarrassment, further complicating the interpretation of her already polysemous declaration. I am nothing. Maybe she thinks her life is a failure. Maybe she feels ineffectual in some specific regard. Or maybe she has accepted her relative unimportance in the vast cosmos. […]

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”I would rather be dumb than be a slut, but I would rather be a slut than be fat or ugly.”

This statement was made by an 18-year-old girl taking part in Lauren Greenfield’s widely acclaimed traveling photo series entitled “Girl Culture.” In the series, Greenfield photographs women and young girls, displaying their thoughts about their bodies and the obsessions resulting from the Westernized view of ideal beauty alongside the photos.

Unfortunately, statements such as this have become all too familiar among the youth of America. […]

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Imagine regaining consciousness after some no-holds-barred, drink-yourself-into-a-coma, fall-asleep-in-your-own-fluids kind of party. It was fun while it lasted, but now your head aches as you surveil the dilapidated remains of last night’s hoopla. Sunday-afternoon doldrums dissolve any remembrance of dopamine-driven delight.

Picture that hollow, morning-after aftertaste. The realization that maybe, just maybe, you took things too far. […]

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